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New kid on the block – How third-culture kids fit in

IT’S always hard being the new kid on the block, but even harder for a third-culture kid (TCK), who frequently finds himself or herself in a new country, starting over with a new school and new friends. Kerry Pang should know. She’s a TCK.

Before she even learned to walk, 3-month-old US citizen Amanda Child, now age 16, was on an airplane flying across the world to Shanghai. Child, who was born in New Hampshire, spent some time in China and then moved back to the States and lived in two places with new sets of friends. The family returned to Shanghai when she was 12 and that’s where she has stayed, so far.

“When I’m in China, I say I’m from the US, but when I’m with other kids like me, TCKs, I say I’m from China,” says Child, who was home schooled for many years until the family settled in Shanghai to spare her some of the wrenching experience of parting from school friends.

“I’m definitely American, but I have a lot of Chinese culture ingrained in me, and I get culture shock every time I return to the United States,” she says.

TCK, which trips off her tongue, refers to third-culture kids, or trans-culture kids, children who spend a lot of time in one or more cultures than his or her own passport country and integrates elements of those cultures and their birth country into a third culture. They often have a sense of not belonging when returning to their passport country, according to the US State Department’s website.

A lot of research has been done into these culture-spanning young people and they even call themselves TCKs, and they often stick together, finding more in common with each other than with children from their “home” country or the country they are currently visiting.

The term “third-culture kid” dates back to the 1950s when sociologist Ruth Hill Unseem coined it after her second year-long visit to India with her three children whom she watched as they adapted.

Those who seem to enjoy Shanghai more are more willing to step out of their comfort zone to try new things – like Chinese food.

TCKs are often multilingual and accepting of other cultures, though moving between countries can be difficult and adjusting to their passport country can be the most difficult of all after years overseas.

As a new school year starts, third-culture kids in Shanghai are beginning to ease into their new environments – both academically and culturally.

For some, this isn’t their first tour in Shanghai. While they have the advantages of global experience and the diversity of international schools, they, like every new kid on the block, have to struggle to assimilate into local culture or to be assimilated.

Adapting is difficult, and it can be especially difficult for TCKs. But is inability to adapt a product of dissonant cultures and environments, or an unwillingness to accept the new cultures?

“A lot of TCKs here live in an expatriate bubble – it’s almost as if they’re not even in China. They go to Western restaurants, international schools and shop at Western groceries and stores. They don’t have anything to do with the local life,” says Carrie Jones, Shanghai Community Center’s counseling coordinator.

As one of the world’s fastest-growing global cities, Shanghai is home to over 150,000 expatriates, many with children (the number of TCKs isn’t known).

According to Jones, the people who enjoy Shanghai the most are more willing to step out of their comfort zone to try new things.

Since these third-culture kids are far from their home country, they often miss home. If they are not experiencing anything new they end up in an in-between world that’s very limiting.

“I’ve met some kids who’ve lived here for years and they don’t speak a single word of Chinese,” says Jones.

Given that the local culture is unchangeable and parents can only help to a certain extent, it is up to the young people themselves to foster a positive attitude.

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